Recently women have been asking why they can not meet a good man or why they keep meeting not so good men. When it comes to African Americans, if we would study our history, as we should, we would discover that since our ancestors arrived on the shores of America, the relationship between Black men and Black women was doomed to failure. There could not be a truly loving relationship with both in Slavery. On the plantation Love and Healthy Relationships were like oil and water. One of the first things the owners did was to let the African woman know that her protectors was no longer in a position to help them. When the Slave Masters left their wives in bed to stroll through the slave quarters to sample their female stock, African men where not in any position to keep them form having there way and was in no position to bargain.
Fast forward to today. 10 million people were polled by the Census Bureau in 2009 and they found the Divorce rate among African Americans was 11.5 percent. 47 percent of African American women first marriages ended in Divorce. The most alarming statistic is that 70 percent of all African American marriages end in Divorce and that does not include the number of couples that are separated , but not Divorced. With such a high Divorce rate, most of these house holds are headed by single Black women that find it extremely hard to meet Black men to reconstitute their families. Why is it so hard for Black woman to meet good Black men? Why do many continue to meet not so good Black men over and over again? In addition to the normal quoted negative statistics like high unemployment and incarceration, taste and preference in men play a major roll in the type of men Black women chose to deal with.
There is no way to expect to be in a productive relationship with a man that is not interested in being in one. Many Choose men according to their Street Credibility, their Edgy Life Style, the type of Car they drive and how much Money they make by legal and illegal means. Where in these reasons can you find the potential for a loving and productive, non-violent, non-mentally abusive or physically abusive relationship? Many women like needy, Irresponsible, so-called Bad Boys.
Why not instead seek out the qualities that make up a good Brutha like trust worthy, kind, a good work ethic, brave etc? Cease gravitating to the same character flaws in men. Reevaluate the qualities sought in a man and if they are too Shallow and Superficial, then expect to achieve the same results.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
A Slice Of My Life
In the beginning took place forty seven
years ago in the slums of Newark, New Jersey. My environment consisted
of open lots with mounds of trash, abandoned cars, and mattresses used
for trampolines. On a cold winters day, burning trash and urine filled
the air along with the sounds of bums singing the latest Motown hits
while passing a bottle of that cheap wine. I remember having a love for
watching television. My favorite shows were I love Lucy, Jack Lalane,
Love American Style and other popular shows of that time. When I was
not watching TV, I would look out the window at the package store across
the street. Fights, shootings, and drug buys were the soap opera of
the day and on into the night.
Many say that they have lead interesting lives, but I believe mine is one for the books. A slice of my life is made up of the some of the events that shaped my character and made me the person I am today. It is made up of childhood, teenage, and early adult events that shaped my out look towards life and living.
While growing up my father and mother believed in God and that belief carried our family through some hard times as it did many families, but their lack of understanding brought painful circumstances. They had a problem balancing what they thought was their calling to do missionary work with raising a family in a stable and functioning environment. We never lived in one place too long. My mother was a restless soul, so we not only moved frequently, but would just pick up and leave for a visit and end up staying for months. We missed so many days out of school it caused my brothers and sister and I to be behind in our school lesson. We developed slow socially and played with each other while our parents locked us in the house. Though traveling and missing school was fun, I remember visiting relatives and others and not feeling welcome. Often we lived like we were homeless and when we did settle, we never attended school on a regular basis. I think my parents did not want us to get used to regular schooling and friends because it would be harder to just leave at a moments notice. I had a love for school and some time I would do well. I remember my third grade teacher at Martin Luther King Public School placing colorful stickers on my school work. My mother would proudly put them up on the wall next to the kitchen door. I also painfully recollect missing too many days and having to be retained to the third grade.
My father and mother separated for a time and we moved from New Jersey to Wilson, North Carolina. They got back together and we became a more stable family and I started attending school regularly. Wilson was a much smaller city in what was known as the big eighties. There was three high schools in Wilson. Fike High School, Newly built James Baxter Hunt Jr and Edgar T. Beddingfield. They were all a buzz because each High School was preparing to graduate the largest senior classes in their schools history. The class of 1984. We all knew each other because we were one of the last classes to attend the eighth grade at Charles L. Coon Middle School before being separated at one of the three High Schools. I attended Hunt, but would end up graduating with Fike's senior class.
Compared to today, the 1980's was a much simpler time. The mostly African American community I grew up in was very close. We could not get away with anything! We were supervised by our teachers who taught or knew our parents and the elders in the neighborhood. If we got out of line, we would pay the price and Time Out was not the price. Though they disciplined us, it was because they expected the best from us. We represented them and our community. My mother would feed us breakfast, line us up and inspect us before we went off to school. She made sure we washed and put on clean clothes. It was stressed to us to make sure we wore clean underwear in case we got hurt and had to go to the hospital.
I often wondered how the elders in the neighborhood knew who we belonged to. A lady who would pay me to go the store for her called me Faye and Billy's boy. That was my name. She would send me to Judge Store for a half a pound of half smokes, some Sweet La La snuff, corn meal and some Hoop Cheese. Hoop Cheese is cheese cut form a large round mound of cheese. She would always tell me I could keep the change and that was always fifty cents. I would get twenty five penny cookies and some Now or Later candy. As I walked home, I could hear the crackle of the cast iron frying pans and smell pork chops, fried chicken, and hamburger with bread added to stretch it. Depending on the day, you could smell fish and corn bread or neck bones and rice. In those days fast food was not something we would eat often. My mother cooked six or seven days a week. When I came in the house, she would tell me that the lady I went to the store for called and told her how well mannered I was and that I got everything she needed. I knew someone was always watching and no matter how I behaved, my parents would hear about it.
Sunday night was Soul Night at Roller World Skating Rink. It was called Soul Night because it was Black Folk night at the skating rink. Either we got a ride with a friend or got our parents to drop us off. It was like a low budget Soul Train that night. The lights would dim a little and we would start skating. The DJ would spin the hottest tunes. I could hold my own, but did not try anything too fancy because it was real easy to fall on your back side. Kids of all ages were skating and that meant your little brothers and sisters. I think our parents enjoyed the quiet in the house without us there. After skating around in circles for four hours, it was time to go home. No kid was left behind. Parents would pile as many kids as they could in their cars. When we got back home, all we had time to do was maybe eat something, wash up, iron school clothes and get to bed. Yes! Those were fun times.
Many say that they have lead interesting lives, but I believe mine is one for the books. A slice of my life is made up of the some of the events that shaped my character and made me the person I am today. It is made up of childhood, teenage, and early adult events that shaped my out look towards life and living.
While growing up my father and mother believed in God and that belief carried our family through some hard times as it did many families, but their lack of understanding brought painful circumstances. They had a problem balancing what they thought was their calling to do missionary work with raising a family in a stable and functioning environment. We never lived in one place too long. My mother was a restless soul, so we not only moved frequently, but would just pick up and leave for a visit and end up staying for months. We missed so many days out of school it caused my brothers and sister and I to be behind in our school lesson. We developed slow socially and played with each other while our parents locked us in the house. Though traveling and missing school was fun, I remember visiting relatives and others and not feeling welcome. Often we lived like we were homeless and when we did settle, we never attended school on a regular basis. I think my parents did not want us to get used to regular schooling and friends because it would be harder to just leave at a moments notice. I had a love for school and some time I would do well. I remember my third grade teacher at Martin Luther King Public School placing colorful stickers on my school work. My mother would proudly put them up on the wall next to the kitchen door. I also painfully recollect missing too many days and having to be retained to the third grade.
My father and mother separated for a time and we moved from New Jersey to Wilson, North Carolina. They got back together and we became a more stable family and I started attending school regularly. Wilson was a much smaller city in what was known as the big eighties. There was three high schools in Wilson. Fike High School, Newly built James Baxter Hunt Jr and Edgar T. Beddingfield. They were all a buzz because each High School was preparing to graduate the largest senior classes in their schools history. The class of 1984. We all knew each other because we were one of the last classes to attend the eighth grade at Charles L. Coon Middle School before being separated at one of the three High Schools. I attended Hunt, but would end up graduating with Fike's senior class.
Compared to today, the 1980's was a much simpler time. The mostly African American community I grew up in was very close. We could not get away with anything! We were supervised by our teachers who taught or knew our parents and the elders in the neighborhood. If we got out of line, we would pay the price and Time Out was not the price. Though they disciplined us, it was because they expected the best from us. We represented them and our community. My mother would feed us breakfast, line us up and inspect us before we went off to school. She made sure we washed and put on clean clothes. It was stressed to us to make sure we wore clean underwear in case we got hurt and had to go to the hospital.
I often wondered how the elders in the neighborhood knew who we belonged to. A lady who would pay me to go the store for her called me Faye and Billy's boy. That was my name. She would send me to Judge Store for a half a pound of half smokes, some Sweet La La snuff, corn meal and some Hoop Cheese. Hoop Cheese is cheese cut form a large round mound of cheese. She would always tell me I could keep the change and that was always fifty cents. I would get twenty five penny cookies and some Now or Later candy. As I walked home, I could hear the crackle of the cast iron frying pans and smell pork chops, fried chicken, and hamburger with bread added to stretch it. Depending on the day, you could smell fish and corn bread or neck bones and rice. In those days fast food was not something we would eat often. My mother cooked six or seven days a week. When I came in the house, she would tell me that the lady I went to the store for called and told her how well mannered I was and that I got everything she needed. I knew someone was always watching and no matter how I behaved, my parents would hear about it.
Sunday night was Soul Night at Roller World Skating Rink. It was called Soul Night because it was Black Folk night at the skating rink. Either we got a ride with a friend or got our parents to drop us off. It was like a low budget Soul Train that night. The lights would dim a little and we would start skating. The DJ would spin the hottest tunes. I could hold my own, but did not try anything too fancy because it was real easy to fall on your back side. Kids of all ages were skating and that meant your little brothers and sisters. I think our parents enjoyed the quiet in the house without us there. After skating around in circles for four hours, it was time to go home. No kid was left behind. Parents would pile as many kids as they could in their cars. When we got back home, all we had time to do was maybe eat something, wash up, iron school clothes and get to bed. Yes! Those were fun times.
Misplaced Love
Love is misplaced! Where is love? Why can't we find it? I was looking
for love and couldn't find it. Looked for it in my new car, but it
wasn't there. I abandoned the search after looking under the seats, in
the glove box, in the trunk, and under the hood. Drove to the bank to
see if it was there. Asked the teller to hand me a withdrawal slip and
tried to withdraw love form my checking account. I filled in all of the
blanks and placed L.O.V.E In the amount section then gave it to the
teller. She said she was sorry, but there was only money in my
checking. I apologized for wasting her time, bolted from the bank and
rushed to my car. I pulled up to my beautiful home with carefully
trimmed grass around a freshly built two story with great room, vaulted
ceilings, expensive paintings and old English furnishings. Leaving
nothing to chance, I threw caution to the wind and began turning over
lamps, moving furniture, and flipping over rugs. The longer the search
took, the more desperation took over. The search progressed with the
turning over of chairs, pulling the mattresses off the beds, then
snatching the cushions from the couches. Two hours later my home looked
like someone had driven a car from the front of the house to the back.
I found myself balled up in the middle of piles of clothes, dishes, and
kitchen appliances. It was so quiet that I could hear a rat pee on
cotton and the beating of my heart. Love finally revealed itself to me
while I was laying in the middle of the floor. It was with me all the
time. While standing in line at the bank, many people were trying to
make bogus withdrawals. We place too much value on material things and
the thoughts of others. If we would look within, we would love
ourselves and wouldn't waste time accumulating the things we think will
draw people to us.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Not Alot For Your Dollar These Days
It is extremely hard in these though economic times to get what you pay for when buying Fast Food and using Vending Machines. When I visit Fast Food Restaurants and use Vending Machines, I recall my childhood and teenage years in the seventies and eighties and not only remember what a dollar was worth, but I remember the quality and quantity a dollar did purchase in those days. I can see it all now! I am riding in the car with my parents and siblings and we are on our way to McDonald's to get The Real Big Mac. We never ate fast food too often so my taste buds were running in to each other and my stomach was doing flip flops the night before in anticipation of those two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Back then McDonald's had the best French Fries known to man and you had to eat your burger and fries first because by the time you finish, you may be able to get your thick chocolate Milk Shake to come through the straw. Now fast forward 25 years to the present. I was never so disappointed in my life when I thought I would relive my childhood by eating a Big Mac. The quality of fast food has really declined. My guess is that the fast food industry wanted to maximize profits, so they made eating fast food more affordable and could not deliver the same quality they once did. At a glance the sandwich looked nothing like the sandwich they advertise on television. You know the sandwich that you can actually see the meat and cheese between the three pieces of bread. When I bit into the Low Budget Big Mac, the meat was so thin that I nearly chocked on the bread and special sauce. When I opened the bread up to see what was inside, the meat was so thin that I could see through it. And those fries that use to be so good are a shadow of their former selves. I wonder what they are made of? My son dropped some in the car when he was three. I found them when I was cleaning it out and they looked the same as they did when they were bought. As for the shakes, they are average at best.
When It comes to vending machines there is not a whole lot to say accept that I bought a bag of chips the other day and when I made my selection and the machine dispensed the brand of potato chips I selected, they floated down from the space they where in. It seems to me that the smaller the candy bar or potato chips, the more expensive they are. In this economic climate, it is tough for companies to stay a float with operating cost going up along with fuel prices and the American consumer is trying to be convinced that less is more.
When it comes to fast food. Most of the major players in the fast food industry shot themselves in the foot when they made their food so affordable Americans could eat it nearly every night. Super Sizing everything caused stomachs to become so big that they had to dumb down their food or cook it in different oil. Now the food has less flavor, but still popular because the present generation and the generation after mine never experienced the taste of the Real Big Mac, Good KFC Chicken, Wendy's real thick and juicy burgers and Burger Kings original Whooper.
When It comes to vending machines there is not a whole lot to say accept that I bought a bag of chips the other day and when I made my selection and the machine dispensed the brand of potato chips I selected, they floated down from the space they where in. It seems to me that the smaller the candy bar or potato chips, the more expensive they are. In this economic climate, it is tough for companies to stay a float with operating cost going up along with fuel prices and the American consumer is trying to be convinced that less is more.
When it comes to fast food. Most of the major players in the fast food industry shot themselves in the foot when they made their food so affordable Americans could eat it nearly every night. Super Sizing everything caused stomachs to become so big that they had to dumb down their food or cook it in different oil. Now the food has less flavor, but still popular because the present generation and the generation after mine never experienced the taste of the Real Big Mac, Good KFC Chicken, Wendy's real thick and juicy burgers and Burger Kings original Whooper.
There Seems To Be A Problem Standing Your Ground In Florida If You Are Black
Here is another case of the Bitch pulling down her blindfold and taking a peek at who is in line for Justice. The Bitch I am speaking of is the symbol of the American Justice System. A female holding a scale with a blindfold on as not to be able to see any individual standing in line to receive Justice under the Laws of these United States. This symbol of the United States Justice System does not know if one is rich or poor and can not judge what race or ethnic background one is from. But in the case of Florida's Stand Your Ground Law, she has said to hell with this blindfold and has decided to view all involved.
Marissa Alexander shot at a wall to run off her abusive husband because she felt threatened. No one was injured, but in early May of 2012 a northeast Florida judge sentenced her to 20 years in Prison. She was denied her right to protect herself by standing her ground. She was sentenced under Florida's 10-20 Law. When she fired her gun not a soul was injured, but she was charged under Mandatory Minimum Sentencing Laws for firing a gun. The act was viewed as a Felony.
Trevor Dooley another Black citizen of Florida was denied immunity under the Stand Your Ground Law. The Law is Suppose to allow a citizen to defend him or her self if they feel threatened. Deadly Force can be used in accordance with this Law. Mr. Dooley shot and killed David James in a dispute over a youth Skateboarding on a Basketball Court. Mr. Dooley stated that he felt threatened while Mr. James had his hands around his neck choking him. His trial is set for the 4th of September.
Jeb Bush signed the Stand Your Ground Law in 2005. The Bill was written by former Senator Durell Peaden and co sponsered by Rep. Dennis Baxley. The Bill was heavily supported by the National Rifle Association and The American Legislative Exchange Council; a so called nonpartisan individual membership organization of state legislators which favor Federalism and Conservative Public Policy Solutions. Draw your own conclusion. David and Charles Koch (coke) multi-billionaires, funders of the Tea Party and against the reduction of Air Pollution also backed Stand your Ground Legislation. The Koch brothers benefited from the 2009 Supreme Court decision that grants person-hood to Corporations. This gives them the power to support Ultra Conservative politions without being detected. In 2010 the Supreme Court ruled that Unions and Corporations could spend an unlimited amount of money on Campaign Advertising. The Koch Brothers are anti Union and is contributing what they can to dismantle Unions. Former Senator Peaden stated that Zimmerman has no protection under his Law because he ignored the 911 Operator and followed Trayvon Martin on February 26, 2012 which resulted in Zimmerman allegedly shooting and killing Trayvon Martin. Many states have a Chastle Doctrine or Stand Your Ground Law. Alaska, Arizona, California, and Georgia. If Zimmerman is convicted while claiming to be covered under Stand Your Ground, the Florida Law may be in jeopardy.
Routers wrote, "Critics say the measure could lead to Racially Motivated killings and promote deadly escalations of arguments." Since the Trayvon Martin shooting, Stand Your Ground Law cases in Florida have gone form 13 to 36 or more. With the Stand Your Ground Law, the burden of Proof is with the prosecution to prove with a reasonable doubt that the defendant did not shoot in self defense.
Marissa Alexander shot at a wall to run off her abusive husband because she felt threatened. No one was injured, but in early May of 2012 a northeast Florida judge sentenced her to 20 years in Prison. She was denied her right to protect herself by standing her ground. She was sentenced under Florida's 10-20 Law. When she fired her gun not a soul was injured, but she was charged under Mandatory Minimum Sentencing Laws for firing a gun. The act was viewed as a Felony.
Trevor Dooley another Black citizen of Florida was denied immunity under the Stand Your Ground Law. The Law is Suppose to allow a citizen to defend him or her self if they feel threatened. Deadly Force can be used in accordance with this Law. Mr. Dooley shot and killed David James in a dispute over a youth Skateboarding on a Basketball Court. Mr. Dooley stated that he felt threatened while Mr. James had his hands around his neck choking him. His trial is set for the 4th of September.
Jeb Bush signed the Stand Your Ground Law in 2005. The Bill was written by former Senator Durell Peaden and co sponsered by Rep. Dennis Baxley. The Bill was heavily supported by the National Rifle Association and The American Legislative Exchange Council; a so called nonpartisan individual membership organization of state legislators which favor Federalism and Conservative Public Policy Solutions. Draw your own conclusion. David and Charles Koch (coke) multi-billionaires, funders of the Tea Party and against the reduction of Air Pollution also backed Stand your Ground Legislation. The Koch brothers benefited from the 2009 Supreme Court decision that grants person-hood to Corporations. This gives them the power to support Ultra Conservative politions without being detected. In 2010 the Supreme Court ruled that Unions and Corporations could spend an unlimited amount of money on Campaign Advertising. The Koch Brothers are anti Union and is contributing what they can to dismantle Unions. Former Senator Peaden stated that Zimmerman has no protection under his Law because he ignored the 911 Operator and followed Trayvon Martin on February 26, 2012 which resulted in Zimmerman allegedly shooting and killing Trayvon Martin. Many states have a Chastle Doctrine or Stand Your Ground Law. Alaska, Arizona, California, and Georgia. If Zimmerman is convicted while claiming to be covered under Stand Your Ground, the Florida Law may be in jeopardy.
Routers wrote, "Critics say the measure could lead to Racially Motivated killings and promote deadly escalations of arguments." Since the Trayvon Martin shooting, Stand Your Ground Law cases in Florida have gone form 13 to 36 or more. With the Stand Your Ground Law, the burden of Proof is with the prosecution to prove with a reasonable doubt that the defendant did not shoot in self defense.
Super Negro
From the farther reaches of outer space has come an almighty Super Mero. With both male and female attributes; It hales from planet Negrown in the Pork Chop Galaxy. Where Self Serving and Self Absorbed Negros are not hatched or born; they are grown. Once grown, they go through rigorous training. They must be certified fools of Self Promoting Trickery, Manipulating Thievery, Righteous Indignation, Hypocrisy, and strive to reach very low heights by selling out their own kind for little or nothing. So here it comes! Able to avoid the truth at all costs, able to misrepresent itself without having to think, lies roll off its tongue like water rushing down a mighty stream. Its a rented Bentley, its running off with the Churches Building Fund, or Federal Student Financial Aid, and leading Gods Sheep to the slaughter. Its not a Voter Registration Drive or Coopertive Economics. Its Super Negro!!!
Will We Ever Learn???
Headlines! Detroit Mayor Arrested for Perjury and Obstruction. Morris Brown College Lost its Accreditation and Federal Funding due to Financial Mismanagement. Atlanta Public Schools on Probation amists CRCT Cheating Scandal.
It looks like some Blacks in positions of authority and great responsibility is suffering from a serious case of Negroisum or a extreme case of an inability to make sound and ethical decisions when it comes to performing duties while holding positions of great trust and authority. Supervisors, School Board Members, Mayors, City Counsel Members, Ministers etc. Paid or Unpaid some of these individuals are not understanding that they do not represent themselves, but are serving the people that voted for them and trust them to carry out the duties of their offices in a ethical manner.
Many say they should not be viewed differently because they are African American and are conducting themselves like many that hold those positions. They should be held to a higher standard. These individuals get elected or appointed to these positions and act as if they do not owe their Communities, Wives, Kids, Ancestors, and God anything. They act like they have been given a pass to bring shame on their people by not matering Self Control. Why is it that when some people get a position, money, or power they loose common sense and their ability to reason. These people become arrogant and walk around with their asses on their backs thinking they are a ruler and can break any and ever Law they please. It is no longer the people's money or budget. "It is my budget!" "I do not represent the Students in my district." "I represent my dam self." "I am Mr. or Miss. My Do Do Don't Stink and to hell with my husband, wife, community and race." "Those So and SOs ain't done nothing but believe in me, support me, love me and elect me to represent them." "What the hell is that?" "I don't owe no body anything!"
Ofcourse no one is perfect, but most know right from wrong. There are enough examples of this type of behavior for people to follow and not come in and make the same errors. There should be a push for the communities that these Clowns represent to step up their efforts to hold them accountable. Taring and feathering should not be left out.
It looks like some Blacks in positions of authority and great responsibility is suffering from a serious case of Negroisum or a extreme case of an inability to make sound and ethical decisions when it comes to performing duties while holding positions of great trust and authority. Supervisors, School Board Members, Mayors, City Counsel Members, Ministers etc. Paid or Unpaid some of these individuals are not understanding that they do not represent themselves, but are serving the people that voted for them and trust them to carry out the duties of their offices in a ethical manner.
Many say they should not be viewed differently because they are African American and are conducting themselves like many that hold those positions. They should be held to a higher standard. These individuals get elected or appointed to these positions and act as if they do not owe their Communities, Wives, Kids, Ancestors, and God anything. They act like they have been given a pass to bring shame on their people by not matering Self Control. Why is it that when some people get a position, money, or power they loose common sense and their ability to reason. These people become arrogant and walk around with their asses on their backs thinking they are a ruler and can break any and ever Law they please. It is no longer the people's money or budget. "It is my budget!" "I do not represent the Students in my district." "I represent my dam self." "I am Mr. or Miss. My Do Do Don't Stink and to hell with my husband, wife, community and race." "Those So and SOs ain't done nothing but believe in me, support me, love me and elect me to represent them." "What the hell is that?" "I don't owe no body anything!"
Ofcourse no one is perfect, but most know right from wrong. There are enough examples of this type of behavior for people to follow and not come in and make the same errors. There should be a push for the communities that these Clowns represent to step up their efforts to hold them accountable. Taring and feathering should not be left out.
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